God makes my soul prosper by providing me with rest and relaxation–something I had never even considered a need, let alone a need that God wants to meet.
Recently, I have been having unusual fantasies. Normally, my fantasies are about finishing our house, getting a better job, my husband having more time off, me fitting into my skinny jeans—that sort of thing. But, all last week, I kept thinking about having twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep, having a day or even several hours to do whatever I wanted, alone.
It’s odd how when you’re a child, you might get those two full days of freedom—the weekend, but as soon as your adult, it just doesn’t happen. The weekends get crammed full with run-off from the work week—laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, bill-paying, gift shopping, errands, and the unending necessity of cooking and doing dishes. Sigh. Before I started teaching, I took a day of annual leave on occasion, simply to have eight hours of time to myself. As a teacher, I can’t just take a day off whenever (or ever), and I feel the stress of not getting that time.
Part of it is my fault. I am not sure what happened, when it happened, or how it happened, but I have trouble letting myself relax. Deeply ingrained in my make-up is the rule be productive. I feel like I have to knock out the “to do” list. I must make progress. I must be constructive.
Well, this can only go on so long, and then I SNAP. Usually, my snaps are not that dramatic. I eat too many cookies, cry a little, a sleep it off. To avoid those kinds of meltdowns, and also simply to remember who I am and what it’s like to have fun, I am trying to have an unproductive day of whatever here and there, or at least a few hours.
I did it today, and I want to do it again! I can’t imagine the bliss of having a real day off every week. Today, I just limited the items on my “to do” list to very simple tasks that would be easy to achieve. Then, I moved the excess items to next week. Ahhh…a day off.
It was so nice to get up without being in a rush to get somewhere or do something. The morning had a completely different feel. I took a bubble bath, and used my fancy Bath and Body Works sugar scrub, and drank my coffee in the tub. Then, I went to a local craft fair with my husband’s mother and aunt. I bought my niece’s birthday present, and the ingredients to make my step dad’s birthday cake. I mailed a package. There endeth my productivity. I indulged in a banana split for lunch because I’d been craving ice cream. Then, this afternoon, I lounged on the couch with my dog, and watched not one, but two chick flicks—Nanny Diaries and Post-Grad. I snuggled under a hand-crocheted afghan, breathed in warm, puppy smell (I know it’s strange, but I like it), and felt luxuriously well cared for.
Still, I was going to have to get myself together at some point and fix supper for my husband…Then, my cell phone rang. It was hubby asking if I wanted to cook or if I wanted him to pick up something on his way home. Ha-ha! I did not have to cook or do dishes. I believe that this was a blessing, a treat, a God-given day! I have never really thought of my desire for time alone to relax as a need, but I think God does. I am seeing more and more that God sees me and my needs holistically. His care for me does not begin and end with food and clothing. What a gift this day has been. My needs have been abundantly met, by God. I wonder if it would be possible have time off like this on a regular basis. Definitely something worth praying about.
Power Thought #8: God meets all my needs abundantly.