More About Discipline & Self Control

     My Struggle.  Here we go: 

          Well, today…The word “ironic” comes to mind.  This morning, I was celebrating discipline, thinking of how far I’ve come, scoffing at the idea that “no discipline is pleasant at the time.”  I was feeling successful and happy with all of the new disciplines I have added to my life over the course of the week, and I was also happy about the other areas in which I am usually pretty disciplined. 

     This week, I started exercising every day right off the bat.  By the second day, I was drinking 64 ounces of water daily.  Then today, I ditched my usual sugary breakfast and had eggs with low fat cheese mixed in.  Doing so well.  Establishing new habits!  Even if I am only almost a week in—still, that’s victory!  Yay!

     In the midst of these changes, I have not hit the dieting hard-core, but I’ve been trying to watch it, and not go crazy.  Of course, today was all about the crazy.  I just got off track in my day, and started eating.  Then, I ate some more.  Sigh.  Sadness.

     I still did the other things—I had my healthy breakfast, I exercised, and I drank my water…but, I feel so remorseful about the area(s) where I still do not use discipline and self-control.  It might be nice if we could compartmentalize our lives, but discipline and self-control need to be part of everything we do, think, and say.  Without discipline and self-control, all of our plans can be derailed and it can change the face of a day from good to depressing.  Discipline and self-control are virtues that help us to be at peace with ourselves and to accept the blessing that comes with boundaries.

     One of my favorite portions of scripture is in Psalm16.  In it, the Psalmist says, “The boundary lines have fallen or me in pleasant places.”  That tells me that discipline is a safe guard, and it is pleasant.  It keeps us safe, and happy. 

     Tomorrow, it will be time to begin looking at a new power thought.  Today, I am thinking about this big area where I still need the work of discipline and self-control—eating.  What to do?  I think I need a more concrete idea of the boundaries I want to observe in my eating, and I also need some ideas for things to do when I am tempted to eat emotionally.  It’s a little overwhelming to think of all the areas in my life where I need to use more self-control, but I have made progress  this week.  Tomorrow is a new day.

     One challenge I have faced is that I am on spring break this week.  It doesn’t sound challenging, but it means that I have lots of unscheduled time, which I am not used to.  I love the idea of waking up and just meandering through the day getting a few things done here and there, but I am realizing (reluctantly) that I need to make some kind of schedule or plan for the day so that I stay busy and productive and do not get off track with my eating or anything else.  I have tried to avoid planning to much because I want to enjoy my break without a big “to do” list hanging over my head, but I am now thinking that I blueprint for the day with some productive tasks and fun mixed in is the way to go.  Blessings!

Singing Out on the Back Row

     Sunday, and I am still power-thinking away. On the spur of the moment this morning, I decided to go to church; this was scary for me and put my trusting God to the test.  Why is going to church scary?  Well, beside the usual nervousness about going to a new place, and going alone, I was concerned about how my husband might react.  He does not have much interest in church at this point, and Sunday is his only day off work, so I felt bad about going off on my own.  He said it was fine, so I was stripped of my “excuse” and off I went.  It was a good experience, and I felt very at peace being in God’s house on the Sabbath Day.  I was welcomed and enjoyed the service.  Afterward, the lady who occupied the back row with me invited me to a women’s Sunday school class, and the pastor invited me to attend choir practice.  Apparently he had a good view of me singing my heart out on the back row.  Isn’t that just the cliché?  The back-row Christian?  Well, it was a step in the right direction for me.  I did have the thought in my head that I would go to church, but that I would try to find one big enough so that I could “hide.”  Not very sassy, spunky, and spirited of me, huh?  Aside from the back row thing, this actually was an s-cubed moment.  It took a lot of courage for me to go, introduce myself, and sing out.  I am glad I did, but it still feels uncomfortable.

     I don’t want to let past church experiences affect my life now.  I am nervous about getting pulled into something, becoming involved too fast, or becoming over-involved.  I am not sure if I will go back, if I will try the choir practice or the Sunday school class.  I still feel unsettled about being away from my husband too much.  All of that has been swirling around in my mind today.  I am not going to worry about it though.  I am going to trust God to get me to where I am supposed to be.  I am going to trust God with my schedule.  I am going trust God to orchestrate how much I’m gone and how much I am home.  I am going to trust God with where I go to church and with how involved or uninvolved I am. I am going to trust God to move me from the back row, or not.   I am going to trust God with my husband’s feelings and attitudes.  I am going to trust that God will show me what to do and help me to do it when the time comes.

      Ah…Enter peace.  Peace comes from trusting God.

About the title: Sassy, Spunky & Spirited

     I am seeking more moments where I am sassy, spunky and spirited, whether I am at home by myself or surrounded by lots of people.  I love those three words, and today, I began to muse about their meanings.  Check out the definitions below:

Spirited:  characterized or full of animation, vigor or courage; lively

Spunky: courageous, spirited, full of pluck

Sassy:  lively and spirited, jaunty       

     So, apparently, these words have such similar meanings that I could have called my blog Spirited, Spirited & Spirited…or S Cubed. 

     With those definitions in mind, I will be watching out for to be more sassy, spunky, and spirited and noting all of the S-cubed moments.