What’s Hard About Trusting God

     When “trusting God” came to me (again and again) as my focus or word(s) of the year for 2011, I had the verses in Proverbs 3:5-6 in mind:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

I memorized these verses when I was in college and Sixpence (None the Richer) wrote a sweet little tune using the scripture.  It was light and melodic and may have lulled me into believing that what’s commanded in this verse would be easy-peasy!  Trust God?  No problem!  So, what makes it difficult?

What makes it difficult for this spirited girl is “”lean not on your own understanding.”  What?  But my understanding is good!  I have good understanding.  I’m smart and I can figure things out and “help” God along.  Haha!  What does trusting God mean?  It means I don’t lean on my own understanding of things, because after all, if I understood everything, there would be no need for trust or for faith.

This reflection about not leaning on my own understanding came to me this week because I was expecting–yes, even trusting God to do something in my life, and it didn’t happen (yet).  The more I thought about it, and wondered what went wrong, the more I realized that I had been trusting God to work based on my previous experiences, my thoughts, and my plans about how things should work out.  I wasn’t trusting God.  I was believing that God would meet my need in a very specific way based on my human understanding and reasoning. 

     Today, it is freeing to let that go.  Naturally, I was disappointed that I didn’t get the answer I was expecting.  Yet, I also realize now that God is going to do something new in my life.  I am trusting him to meet my need in a way that is beyond my understanding, my experience, and my human plans.  Now, that’s trust.